Lost Husbands and Long Lives

A Widow's Legacy: Tales of Endurance and Survival

Researching my family history reveals a compelling trend: many women on my paternal side outlived their husbands by decades. This trend reflects broader patterns in 19th- and early 20th-century life, where wives frequently faced the challenge of widowhood without the support systems available to women today.

To illustrate the challenges faced by women during this period, here are three notable examples from the Anthony family:

Mary Smyth and Robert Anthony

Mary Smyth married Robert Anthony in 1838 in Northern Ireland. Robert died in 1866, leaving Mary a widow for 26 years. She lived until 1892, managing the household and family responsibilities alone for over a quarter of a century. Her extended widowhood highlights the pressures women faced after the loss of a spouse.

Mary Jane Gibson and Robert Anthony

Another generation followed a similar pattern. Robert Anthony, the son of Mary Smyth, married Mary Jane Gibson in 1869. He died in 1896, leaving Mary Jane a widow for 22 years until her death in 1918. To support her family during her widowhood, Mary set up a boarding house in Ipswich, Queensland, a growing town with a thriving mining industry. Running the boarding house required significant effort to maintain the property, attract tenants, and ensure a steady income. Mary had to balance her responsibilities as both a mother and a businesswoman. Despite these challenges, she provided stability for her family, demonstrating her determination to keep them financially afloat during a time when women had few opportunities for independent income.

Annie N. Pettinger and William A. Anthony

Perhaps the most poignant example is that of Annie N. Pettinger, my grandmother. She married William A. Anthony, Mary Jane’s son, in 1913. William died in 1931, leaving Annie a widow for another 47 years until her passing in 1978. Like Mary Jane, Annie also turned to running a boarding house during her widowhood, reflecting the limited economic choices widows often had to make to survive.

A Broader Pattern in 19th-Century Australia

The experiences of these women mirror a broader trend in 19th- and early 20th-century life. Wives often outlived their husbands by extended periods, which posed significant challenges. This trend wasn’t merely a result of chance; men were more likely to work in physically demanding and hazardous jobs, such as farming, mining, and construction, which increased the risk of accidents, illness, and early death. Additionally, lifestyle factors like heavy drinking and smoking were prevalent among men, further reducing their life expectancy.

To support themselves and their families, widows commonly engaged in domestic work, such as laundry, cooking, or cleaning, while those with literacy skills found work as teachers or governesses. In rural areas, widows often continued small-scale farming, selling produce or livestock. Though limited, these options were common survival strategies when formal social support systems were absent.

#A Reflection on Legacy

These stories from my family history offer insights into the lives of women who, in many cases, bore the emotional and economic strain of widowhood for decades. Their strength deserves recognition. They represent a generation of women who quietly carried the weight of their families after their partners had died.